by Liz Brown, M.A., L.P.C.
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Statistically it is horrifying to ponder that over 40 million abortions have been performed in the United States of America since 1973; thirty-one years after the Supreme Court legalized unrestricted abortion. It is a sobering and troubling fact, too, that many of these men and women who have participated in these abortions are also our Catholic brothers and sisters. It is hard to understand how those, who profess to be Catholic, could be party to something that is so anathema to the tenants of the faith, namely the deep reverence and awe for the sacredness of life. It is also perplexing and discouraging that in opinion poll after opinion poll there are those identified Catholics who sadly, on the subject of abortion, are mute or at worst are actively working to weave the idea of a "women's right to choose" into the fabric of church teaching and practice.
So what can be done to stem this tide? The prospect of bringing about contrition and real change in the hearts of these our brethren can seem overwhelming if not downright fruitless. And yet, there are those involved with the Catholic pro-life movement who instinctively know they must move forward, not lose hope or give into despair. They are the defenders of the unrepresented, the child in the womb who has no voice, no rights and is defenseless in protecting itself from the wrong and, yes, evil actions of others. These pro-life warriors, many of you here in fact, have worked tirelessly and sometimes at great personal cost and sacrifice to ensure everyone's right to life. One could say that your efforts are, and continue to be, one of perfect discipleship. Like Mary, the mother of our Lord and the model of perfect discipleship, many in the pro-life movement gave their FIAT from the beginning knowing without any uncertainty what is right and true, good and just. They have worked to keep the message resonating that abortion is wrong and that there are other life-giving ways to cope with a troubled pregnancy.
Yet in order for the pro-life cause to progress forward and deeply penetrate the hardened hearts and minds of some of our Catholic brothers and sisters as well as society at large, there is a real call for the movement to more fully welcome the personhood of the "other" Mary; Mary Magdalene as seen in the woman or man who has succumbed to the evil of abortion and is in desperate need of reconciliation and healing and the Mary Magdalene who has been redeemed through the mercy of Jesus Christ and longs to claim her place as loyal disciple and eloquent witness to His mercy and the sacredness of life.
The movement must work to understand the heart and experience of this post-abortive man or woman and develop a view that post-abortion reconciliation, healing and public witnessing are necessary and vital pro-life endeavors; that they are causes that the Catholic pro-life movement must really rally around in order to increase the effectiveness of the critically important work that is done in preserving life.
The prospect of devoting one's time and energy to bringing about healing for these post-abortive men and women and/or opening up one's arms to embrace those who are reconciled and wish to work in the movement by sharing their abortion experiences may be painful and difficult. It may be painful to come to terms with the fact that men and women who have murdered their own babies are deserving of this time, care and compassion. After all, these men and women, in many cases, made a deliberate decision to end a life or lives. They have made their bed and must lie in it.
This is a legitimate and honest perspective and it is natural to feel uneasy when thinking about interfacing in a meaningful way with a post-abortive man or woman. It is necessary, however, to try to move through these understandable and complex feelings into a state of action. Let's remind ourselves of who these over 40 million are: they are women we sit next to in a movie theater, those in the supermarket check out line, they may be in your class or at the Mass you attend. Post-abortive men and women are closer to us than you may think.
From purely sociological perspective, unresolved post-abortive symptoms not only affect individual lives but marriages, other children in the family and the larger community. The effects of abortion lead to a wide range of psychiatric and social disorders including, but not limited to, depression, anxiety, suicide, homicide, drug and alcohol addiction and the abuse of living children.
Those who have participated in abortion suffer higher rates of divorce. Dr. Vincent Rue, psychotherapist, marriage and family therapist and nationally recognized speaker regarding the adverse effects of abortion states that, "abortion has major implications for married life. Because of the abortion decision…the capacity to develop trust, enhance communication and problem-solving skills and build intimacy, honesty and companionship is severely restricted."
In addition, women who are post-abortive have a significantly large number of repeat abortions. According to the Guttmacher Institute (the research arm of Planned Parenthood), over 40% of post-abortive women will have additional abortions within 5 years of their initial abortion. For some it will become a form of contraception and often the effects are generational.
Susan Ridley, the author of "Relieved but Deceived", my sister in Christ and fellow witness to the devastating effects of abortion writes that her unresolved abortion experiences had a generational impact on her daughters. Although she didn't assist them financially to procure abortions, she didn't try very hard to convince them not to have abortions. She avoided the subject or offered just a little advice. Susan thought her daughters knew she didn't approve, but she had deceived herself into thinking they understood this. The end result: she and her four daughters experienced over 20 abortions.
And what about the "silent statistic", the men who have willfully participated in the sin of abortion or those who have been marginal or passive? Sociologist Arthur Shostak, who was a party to abortion himself, notes that in his study regarding the affect of abortion on men—three out of four male partners stated they had a difficult time with the abortion, that their relationships did not survive the abortion stress and that a sizeable number reported night dreams about the child-that-never-was along with considerable guilt, remorse and sadness. At the least the abortion experience may lead to increased masculine insecurity, alienation and role conflict. At the most, these unresolved feelings can lead to a wide range of displaced male aggression via child abuse, spousal abuse or self-abuse.
And there are philosophical and practical reasons why women and men should experience post-abortion healing. Once healed, this man or woman can provide very convincing arguments as to why abortion is wrong. If a tiny percentage of all the walking wounded were healed and came forward this would revolutionize the Pro-life cause. Why? Because we might be able to achieve critical mass that could move political opinion and shape public policy; in practical terms, if only 1% of the over 43 million post-abortive women were reached, that would be over 400,000 new voices for life who would offer irrefutable testimony that the abortion industry does not truly care about women and families, it is not about choice and that its ultimate goal is about destruction. 400,000 new voices can now say, "we deserve better!" In doing this, the abortion advocates will be forced to defend their practice on its own terms not with abstract philosophical language of freedom and choice, but with flesh and blood lives—babies with identities and their parents, souls shattered and lost in unspeakable grief.
Beyond these troubling worldly concerns and arguments, however, the spiritual consequences of abortion provide the most compelling reason for us to respond. As Catholic Christians we are called to this work. Not because we are more interested in winning political debates and legal challenges but primarily because we, as Catholics, are in the business of saving souls. Not only is there the loss of a little one to the first death, but also the mother and father may be at risk of dying the second death. We cannot fathom God's mercy, but we must unite with him in this work of redemption for the ultimate tragedy is not making it to Heaven. Everything we do about abortion must be seen through the prism of salvation—salvation of all the victims of the culture of death. As Jesus said in the Gospel of Mark Chapter 6 verse 33: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides." For isn't abortion a symptom of a much deeper problem—the alienation of man from his creator and eternal savior. So seek first to minister to the wounded in His righteousness and we shall stop abortion besides.
Furthermore, from the pulpit to the podium, from the protest to the personal relationship, it is important that each and every time abortion is condemned out of the same breath compassion and mercy also emanate. It is this Catholic Christian model of justice intertwined with love and mercy that fashions into whole cloth our ability to assist willingly those who have been affected by this dreadful scourge and for the affected to respond to our ministering.
In his Encyclical "On the Mercy of God" Pope John Paul II states
"The church lives an authentic life when she professes and proclaims mercy and when she brings people close to the sources of the Savior's mercy. Jesus Christ taught that man not only receives and experiences the mercy of God, but that he is also called "to practice mercy" towards others: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." The church sees in these words a call to action. Man attains to the merciful love of God to the extent that he himself is transformed in the spirit of that love towards his neighbor."
We pray for mothers traumatized by abortion: for those carrying the burden of a secret sadness, for heart-broken grieving women, for women and men whose lives will never be the same. We pray for mothers who remember birthdays of children who might have been, for women believing that no one will understand them, for women and men who think that all is lost and that they can never be forgiven.
Lift the veil of despair and sadness that covers them, comfort them and give them hope, teach them to trust in God's mercy and compassion, help them to understand that nothing is definitively lost for their child is now living with the Lord.
We pray too for families affected by abortion: for fathers who may have been afraid, for
Grandparents missing their grandchildren, for the siblings who guess someone is missing.
We pray for the friends who thought they were helping, for the pregnant women who feared our rejection, for the mothers who felt that they had no choice, for all our family relationships affected by abortion
Help us support and love all mothers and fathers especially those facing unplanned pregnancies, so that women and men are supported in making good choices. Help us to be ambassadors of God's hope and healing, so that we can bring your love to suffering people.
Help them to find understanding and healing, through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the life of the Church. Restore them to life; so that we might together build a culture of truth and life, and one day be united in Heaven with all whom we have lost. Amen